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2009/12/1 ThanksgivingMost of the time, the reasons that keep me standing still and keep on going are just some words that you said unconciously.
Thank you all for being here and being so strong, giving me the power to fight against difficulties, and keeps me smiling when I am feeling sad; wipe away the tears when I am feeling down; finds me the hope when I am feeling desperate,
I still can remember the days that most of the signatures on MSN are "Never Give Up". Thanks to it, all of us have gone through those dark days. Never give up, this will be with me and cheering me up still....
2009/11/15 What's the matter with me...就算有人出来澄清comfort世人,但是反省是自我拯救的唯一出路;
人生来就是为了改变世界,Steve Jobs这样说...
这个世界不应是地球,而应是生活在地球上的人们....
反思和改变是出路,想清楚了那么就及时take action.
It is never late then ever.
就算最终一事无成,at least you tried.
丧钟为谁而鸣.... Cause you can't stop the beatYou cant stop an avalanche
As it races down the hill You can try to stop the seasons But ya know you never will
And you can try to stop my dancin' feet But i just cannot stand still Cause the world keeps spinnin' Round and round And my heart's keeping time To the speed of sound I was lost til i heard the drums Then i found my way 'Cause you cant stop The motion of the ocean Or the sun in the sky You can wonder if you wanna But i never ask why You can't stop a river As it rushes to the sea You can try and stop the hands of time But ya know it just can't be Cause you can't stop the beat 'Cause you cant stop The motion of the ocean Or the rain from above You can try to stop the paradise We're dreamin' of But you cannot stop the rhythm Of two hearts in love to stay Cause you cant stop the beat! You cant stop my happiness Cause i like the way i am And you just can't stop my knife and fork When i see a christmas ham so if you don't like the way i look Well, i |ust don't give a damn! You can't stop today As it comes speeding down the track Child, yesterday is hist'ry And it's never coming back 'Cause tomorrow is a brand new day 2009/11/9 就像当年的小美好,他永远都不会老,在心底不会飞走...今天下班很早,早到回家才8点出头。不过还是错过了《新闻联播》...现在都是谁在主播的?
估计下次看到会相当有感触...
Ann的Blog让我再次想起那段中学的日子...很怀念...
Li Lei& Han Meimei,长大了的我们总算研究出了当时的这么段八卦....
后来听说Li Lei和Han Meimei 谁也未能牵着谁的手 Lucy回国 Lily去了上海 身边还有了那么多男朋友 Jim做了汽车公司经理 娶了中国太太衣食无忧 Li Tao当了警察 Uncle Wang他去年退了休 有点遗憾Li Lei和Han Meimei
谁也未能牵着谁的手 一样的是我们都有了个 当初不曾遥想的以后 还好Polly它还活着 就像我们当年的小美好 他永远都不会老 在心底不会飞走 2009/9/19 Tonight, You Rock.......总算结束了。
三个星期前,不知道什么等着我们。两个星期前,不知道我们有support.一个星期前,不敢想会发生什么。
一群人的狂欢,没有想到的high.两次nobody,一首YMCA,还未开场貌似就已经疯了。大家都给老板面子。
三个星期的痛苦,他们说nothing is impossible. 一个下午的准备,我们让酒店普通的宴会厅,变成了五光十色的舞台。3个小时的演出,we created the miracle.
作为crew,很难high起来,心里面只有rundown,音效,灯光,时间......我们就像太阳里的黑子。
终场谢幕,老板让大家给我们掌声,聚光灯下,看不到下面人的表情,听着下面的欢呼,看到的是疲惫的我们自己。
曲终人散,我们唱着千里之外,在我们自己的剪影前拍照留念。曾经说过:我送你离开,也许真的就是千里之外。
实在是太累,但是还是要谢谢给我们这个差事的人,让我再次做起了在学校才会做的事情。显然还是乐在其中。要谢谢最后说如果还有一次机会,希望你能redo everything的那个人,至少谢谢当我已经要放弃的时候,还在push我的人。
老板说,这是一个either you like it or hate it的地方。他是对的。
评委里两个是compliance的head,一位是strategy的老板。知道至少还有人了解公平是什么,真的是欣慰。大家给老板面子,知道大家还有自己care的东西,真是惊喜。
整个事情都很无奈,看来还是只有自己苦中作乐。时隔一年,心态已经全然不同。原来这就是成长,这就是适应,这就是生存。
某人喝醉之后发表长篇大论,说我们六个人永远是一个batch。只要大家在一起,就没有解决不了的问题。也许这是近段时间听到的最贴心的话了。 2009/7/30 4年前的留言,刚刚发现的,生活....在u of glasgow的前辈们,帮帮忙吧
2009/7/25 What? Why? Where? When? Who? How?累死了!
缺乏公平和认同,不能丢掉fight的勇气。
原来当完全不在乎的时候,好像什么都变得理所当然。
10年前发生的事情,好像又要重演...But this time, should be smart.
前面的路好长,需要勇气,智慧,还有你...
2009/7/12 Stay Hungry. Stay Foolish.'You've got to find what you love,' Jobs saysThis is the text of the Commencement address by Steve Jobs, CEO of Apple Computer and of Pixar Animation Studios, delivered on June 12, 2005. I am honored to be with you today at your commencement from one of the finest universities in the world. I never graduated from college. Truth be told, this is the closest I've ever gotten to a college graduation. Today I want to tell you three stories from my life. That's it. No big deal. Just three stories. The first story is about connecting the dots. I dropped out of Reed College after the first 6 months, but then stayed around as a drop-in for another 18 months or so before I really quit. So why did I drop out? It started before I was born. My biological mother was a young, unwed college graduate student, and she decided to put me up for adoption. She felt very strongly that I should be adopted by college graduates, so everything was all set for me to be adopted at birth by a lawyer and his wife. Except that when I popped out they decided at the last minute that they really wanted a girl. So my parents, who were on a waiting list, got a call in the middle of the night asking: "We have an unexpected baby boy; do you want him?" They said: "Of course." My biological mother later found out that my mother had never graduated from college and that my father had never graduated from high school. She refused to sign the final adoption papers. She only relented a few months later when my parents promised that I would someday go to college. And 17 years later I did go to college. But I naively chose a college that was almost as expensive as Stanford, and all of my working-class parents' savings were being spent on my college tuition. After six months, I couldn't see the value in it. I had no idea what I wanted to do with my life and no idea how college was going to help me figure it out. And here I was spending all of the money my parents had saved their entire life. So I decided to drop out and trust that it would all work out OK. It was pretty scary at the time, but looking back it was one of the best decisions I ever made. The minute I dropped out I could stop taking the required classes that didn't interest me, and begin dropping in on the ones that looked interesting. It wasn't all romantic. I didn't have a dorm room, so I slept on the floor in friends' rooms, I returned coke bottles for the 5¢ deposits to buy food with, and I would walk the 7 miles across town every Sunday night to get one good meal a week at the Hare Krishna temple. I loved it. And much of what I stumbled into by following my curiosity and intuition turned out to be priceless later on. Let me give you one example: Reed College at that time offered perhaps the best calligraphy instruction in the country. Throughout the campus every poster, every label on every drawer, was beautifully hand calligraphed. Because I had dropped out and didn't have to take the normal classes, I decided to take a calligraphy class to learn how to do this. I learned about serif and san serif typefaces, about varying the amount of space between different letter combinations, about what makes great typography great. It was beautiful, historical, artistically subtle in a way that science can't capture, and I found it fascinating. None of this had even a hope of any practical application in my life. But ten years later, when we were designing the first Macintosh computer, it all came back to me. And we designed it all into the Mac. It was the first computer with beautiful typography. If I had never dropped in on that single course in college, the Mac would have never had multiple typefaces or proportionally spaced fonts. And since Windows just copied the Mac, its likely that no personal computer would have them. If I had never dropped out, I would have never dropped in on this calligraphy class, and personal computers might not have the wonderful typography that they do. Of course it was impossible to connect the dots looking forward when I was in college. But it was very, very clear looking backwards ten years later. Again, you can't connect the dots looking forward; you can only connect them looking backwards. So you have to trust that the dots will somehow connect in your future. You have to trust in something — your gut, destiny, life, karma, whatever. This approach has never let me down, and it has made all the difference in my life. My second story is about love and loss. I was lucky — I found what I loved to do early in life. Woz and I started Apple in my parents garage when I was 20. We worked hard, and in 10 years Apple had grown from just the two of us in a garage into a $2 billion company with over 4000 employees. We had just released our finest creation — the Macintosh — a year earlier, and I had just turned 30. And then I got fired. How can you get fired from a company you started? Well, as Apple grew we hired someone who I thought was very talented to run the company with me, and for the first year or so things went well. But then our visions of the future began to diverge and eventually we had a falling out. When we did, our Board of Directors sided with him. So at 30 I was out. And very publicly out. What had been the focus of my entire adult life was gone, and it was devastating. I really didn't know what to do for a few months. I felt that I had let the previous generation of entrepreneurs down - that I had dropped the baton as it was being passed to me. I met with David Packard and Bob Noyce and tried to apologize for screwing up so badly. I was a very public failure, and I even thought about running away from the valley. But something slowly began to dawn on me — I still loved what I did. The turn of events at Apple had not changed that one bit. I had been rejected, but I was still in love. And so I decided to start over. I didn't see it then, but it turned out that getting fired from Apple was the best thing that could have ever happened to me. The heaviness of being successful was replaced by the lightness of being a beginner again, less sure about everything. It freed me to enter one of the most creative periods of my life. During the next five years, I started a company named NeXT, another company named Pixar, and fell in love with an amazing woman who would become my wife. Pixar went on to create the worlds first computer animated feature film, Toy Story, and is now the most successful animation studio in the world. In a remarkable turn of events, Apple bought NeXT, I returned to Apple, and the technology we developed at NeXT is at the heart of Apple's current renaissance. And Laurene and I have a wonderful family together. I'm pretty sure none of this would have happened if I hadn't been fired from Apple. It was awful tasting medicine, but I guess the patient needed it. Sometimes life hits you in the head with a brick. Don't lose faith. I'm convinced that the only thing that kept me going was that I loved what I did. You've got to find what you love. And that is as true for your work as it is for your lovers. Your work is going to fill a large part of your life, and the only way to be truly satisfied is to do what you believe is great work. And the only way to do great work is to love what you do. If you haven't found it yet, keep looking. Don't settle. As with all matters of the heart, you'll know when you find it. And, like any great relationship, it just gets better and better as the years roll on. So keep looking until you find it. Don't settle. My third story is about death. When I was 17, I read a quote that went something like: "If you live each day as if it was your last, someday you'll most certainly be right." It made an impression on me, and since then, for the past 33 years, I have looked in the mirror every morning and asked myself: "If today were the last day of my life, would I want to do what I am about to do today?" And whenever the answer has been "No" for too many days in a row, I know I need to change something. Remembering that I'll be dead soon is the most important tool I've ever encountered to help me make the big choices in life. Because almost everything — all external expectations, all pride, all fear of embarrassment or failure - these things just fall away in the face of death, leaving only what is truly important. Remembering that you are going to die is the best way I know to avoid the trap of thinking you have something to lose. You are already naked. There is no reason not to follow your heart. About a year ago I was diagnosed with cancer. I had a scan at 7:30 in the morning, and it clearly showed a tumor on my pancreas. I didn't even know what a pancreas was. The doctors told me this was almost certainly a type of cancer that is incurable, and that I should expect to live no longer than three to six months. My doctor advised me to go home and get my affairs in order, which is doctor's code for prepare to die. It means to try to tell your kids everything you thought you'd have the next 10 years to tell them in just a few months. It means to make sure everything is buttoned up so that it will be as easy as possible for your family. It means to say your goodbyes. I lived with that diagnosis all day. Later that evening I had a biopsy, where they stuck an endoscope down my throat, through my stomach and into my intestines, put a needle into my pancreas and got a few cells from the tumor. I was sedated, but my wife, who was there, told me that when they viewed the cells under a microscope the doctors started crying because it turned out to be a very rare form of pancreatic cancer that is curable with surgery. I had the surgery and I'm fine now. This was the closest I've been to facing death, and I hope its the closest I get for a few more decades. Having lived through it, I can now say this to you with a bit more certainty than when death was a useful but purely intellectual concept: No one wants to die. Even people who want to go to heaven don't want to die to get there. And yet death is the destination we all share. No one has ever escaped it. And that is as it should be, because Death is very likely the single best invention of Life. It is Life's change agent. It clears out the old to make way for the new. Right now the new is you, but someday not too long from now, you will gradually become the old and be cleared away. Sorry to be so dramatic, but it is quite true. Your time is limited, so don't waste it living someone else's life. Don't be trapped by dogma — which is living with the results of other people's thinking. Don't let the noise of others' opinions drown out your own inner voice. And most important, have the courage to follow your heart and intuition. They somehow already know what you truly want to become. Everything else is secondary. When I was young, there was an amazing publication called The Whole Earth Catalog, which was one of the bibles of my generation. It was created by a fellow named Stewart Brand not far from here in Menlo Park, and he brought it to life with his poetic touch. This was in the late 1960's, before personal computers and desktop publishing, so it was all made with typewriters, scissors, and polaroid cameras. It was sort of like Google in paperback form, 35 years before Google came along: it was idealistic, and overflowing with neat tools and great notions. Stewart and his team put out several issues of The Whole Earth Catalog, and then when it had run its course, they put out a final issue. It was the mid-1970s, and I was your age. On the back cover of their final issue was a photograph of an early morning country road, the kind you might find yourself hitchhiking on if you were so adventurous. Beneath it were the words: "Stay Hungry. Stay Foolish." It was their farewell message as they signed off. Stay Hungry. Stay Foolish. And I have always wished that for myself. And now, as you graduate to begin anew, I wish that for you. Stay Hungry. Stay Foolish. Thank you all very much. 2009/3/22 March 21th--happy?老实说,空置了这么久的blog, 本以为会这样的空置下去,进而到再也不用了,不过还是决定写点东西,能够记录一下过去的这一年还有这一天, March 21。
1st month: 听到了很多以各种英文字母以各种没有发音规律组成的“词段”,但是却被各位同事们念得朗朗上口,非常郁闷,比如RM, PB, CGA, VR, VSR…有一个倒是挺熟悉,叫CSR, 按照之前工作的scope,我知道叫corporate social responsibility,后来知道,这里,他还有另外一个意思… 这个月,正式放弃了Swire, 放弃了opportunities to work in HK. Though I love HK, love airlines, love properties, 但是这些都不是Citibank….
2nd month, Dept的一重要业务正式kic-off. 在kick-off meeting中,全中国都被撼动。从30楼跑下来后,听说震中在离成都不远的地方…之后的日子,天天在电视里看到自己的家和无家可归的家人们。好多在成都的亲人和朋友们第二天就进了灾区做志愿者,从来没有觉得自己出生和长大的这片土地有这么的可爱,乐观和强大。 这个月, 发现在走道上或者电梯里碰到大老板,会紧张,very frustrated, interview碰到他们的时候倒是相当的从容,奇怪…
3rd month, 开始了endless project, 承认我已有的time management skills已经有点入不敷出了,所以半年后报了time management的course.
4th month and thereafter, 无止尽的加班,9pm…10pm…11pm…
5th month, 想家,应该是奢望成都那悠闲自得的生活:早晨伴着晨雾听着Ipod走到办公室;早晨10点,隔壁的第一城开馆,可以听到一个小时的钢琴曲;2008年当全国大部被雪灾困住的时候,成都每天都飘起积不起的雪,透过身后的玻璃,城市就像童话;每天的工作便是来往于政府,领事馆和酒店之间。于是开始了剩下的几个月里平均每月回一次家的旅程,所以导致欠下了好多卡债,于是if I’m lucky enough, 今年前十个月我将是为了招行和平安银行而“工作”。这个月, Lehman 成为了焦点…
7th month, 和Andrea在国庆节后飞去琴岛—鼓浪屿。5天的时间,是一个踩在棉花上的梦。之后回上海继续加班
9th month, 年终休年假,回成都从圣诞到新年…火锅,烧烤,电影,朋友,博物馆,压马路,乐不思沪…这个时候,Citibank已经被brought into focus
10th month: Happy 2009
11th month—12th month: 2008年的MA正式接下了一项伟大和艰难的项目,于是我们会在下班后再继续开会3小时,之后回去继续工作;于是我们在各种业余时间找vendor谈deal.于是我们隔三差五的做PPT,做presentation,可是总是没有办法过关…于是苦中作乐,brainstorming之后用手机伴奏加拍照留下我们神志不清的大合照…我知道了我的下一个部门。
2008年3月21日,我来到了上海。一年后,再次来到了3月21日。呵呵,开心的是3月20日的前一天,周五,准点下班,努力告诉自己,let it be.于是抛下所有的工作,和Zoe去听陈绮贞的演唱会。一群人的狂欢和默契就是开心。在港式茶餐厅迎来了这一天,觉得能这样庆祝和纪念也挺好…More, 几个小时后,和一群beloved friends去了海宁皮革城,见到了一件我梦了许久的机车皮衣,就是那种可以在哈雷机车上穿的,哈哈,可是没有买,因为我没钱也没有哈雷机车….
这一年感觉超累,而且每天都在直面自己的不足和别人的extraordinary. 每天都suffer于没有时间去品味和总结这段奇妙旅程。但是仍然感激有这个机会,不论是认识了这个工作,还是认识了这么多有意思的个性十足的Citibankers。
春节过后,逼着自己写下今年的goals,包括twice a month的volunteer, travel around SH 以及减肥和还卡债计划…还有希望能成行的revisit Thailand, Hong Kong, 和肯定cancel的Tibet之旅。
明年的3月21日,不知道会是什么样的心情,不过我觉得这也是我喜欢Citibank的原因,no matter where you are heading, good or bad, you’ll never know what will happen tomorrow…. 所以,期待明年的这个时候,Mar.21th.
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